A little insite into the world of shyla

You leave me breathless sitting in that dark ally you thought would bring me comfort. I’m here to tell you know, you evil slut of a girl, I’m not okay. If you feel afraid at this moment, I do applaud you, because you finally got something right. Screaming is something the sane do when they are scared, so why didn’t you turn when you herd me screaming. Oh Amanda, they are coming for you, and you will finally wreak the benefits of being a soulless whore. I love you.

I don’t know why every time I pass you I smell death, you always seemed so alive. I hate following you around and yet my legs never stop walking towards where you are. Why haven’t you hit me yet Amanda? I’ve waited for so long for your fist so soft so smooth to come quickly and connect for a brief moment with my face, so dark so sad. What are you waiting for Amanda? Scream at me; scream everything that has been scratching in your head, hitting those beautiful eyes that cry tears of joy when you finally realize that Im gone. Lovely. I collect them Amanda, those crazy thoughts no one hears

You look down every time I see you and I wonder why. I know the answers is because you can’t stand to see my face anymore, that face that calls to you, screaming words you so long to drill out. They say I am dying Amanda, and yet when the words came flowing out of the mouth of the man with a new white coat that looked so dark, I smiled. I haven’t smiled in a while Amanda and I wonder why, deep down you know it’s because of you. My heart full of wonder and sadness beats a thousands times a minute, not for you, but so that I can carry on. Oh Amanda, I hate when you laugh at my jokes that have no meaning. I wish only for you to sit in the rocking chair, and smoke you cigarettes and drink you cheap wine while watching me play in the garden that we have built together. Oh Amanda my Amanda, smile just one last time so this soul of mine can go and play where I once called home.

Don’t scratch that face you horrible girl. It’s just you and I up on this low pedestal. I hate being this high Amanda, but it’s comforting knowing that youre afraid of heights. Do you hate the fact that I am the only person keeping you from falling? I do. Don’t look at me with those soulless eyes; they give me ideas like pushing you so far down. Be happy that your here with me, everything will soon burn under us, and you and I will once again share a sigh of relief before you push me down into that fire that burns so cold. I used the knife you lovingly put in my back to carve your wretched name into this pedestal. Do you feel high Amanda? I do

It smells of death where I dwell, a sudden screaming wakes me from my dazed slumber. I am met with a smile from one I don’t know, confusion rolls over my paralyzed body. I haven’t seen you smile in a while Amanda, why is this? She laughs at my sense of stupid humor, and I laugh at her wonderful laugh. Im afraid of the dark when youre not next to me.

Its cloudy in this place I sleep so nosily, she shakes me and I awaken from my restless state. You haven’t seen me smile in a while Amanda, how does that make you feel. Don’t smile at my joke, so slow coming angrily from my mouth; I can’t laugh when she sinks into the corner. I hate sitting next to you in the day.

Oh Amanda it’s just you and me, my lowly girl

2 thoughts on “

  1. Hey Shyla…
         I haven’t commented you in a while and I’m sorry for that. I just got done reading some of your entrys. I read the one where you explained your story. I found it humorous. I just wanted to say even though we didn’t get along all the time I still miss you making fun of me and always giving me a hard time. No one will replace you. I miss you alot. Things just seem so normal I guess now that your gone. Anyway I was just dropping in to see if you updated and saw that you haven’t so I hope you get this soon.
       <<3 Kristina

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