don’t read unless you wnat to be bored, this is my homework i jut need a place to put it untill i’m ready
Sylvia Plath starts you out so simply telling you about everything that a girl can see. The main character is reading a paper that has nothing to do with her, sitting in a place that is not her own. She did not know what she was doing in New York, but what she did know she was that she was there, and that was all she had. She sits in a subway, not exactly happy with her life but not exactly upset with it either. She starts out so simply and ends with a bang. The character that you grow to love, to hate, to fear and to want so badly breaks down. She hits rock bottom, then picks herself up again. You fall with the character, you fall so far with her, you fall crazy, you fall insane, you fall empty, and you fall in love. The book brings you on a wild ride, brings you up and down and at the end leaves you softly back.
Ester Greenwood, a girl who has just received a scholarship to New York to work for a magazine. She moves into an all women’s hotel where she meets people who have a huge impact on her life. She cannot decide between Doreen who leads her on a wild roller coaster of a time and Betsy that keeps everything simple and within the boundaries. She hangs out with Doreen in a club, where she cannot choose a drink, she cannot really choose anything in her life, so a drink seems to be the lest of her worries. Esther is stuck in the warm place where it is not quite hot, and not quite cold, but sickly in the middle. “The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence.” She is not happy with where she is at (or in her situation where she is not) but she is happy in the sense that she knows she has no grip on her life.
Towards the end of the time in New York she does not find herself in the same state the rest of the girls find themselves. Esther finds herself more depressed because she realizes that she has nothing else. She recollects about college and how she was stuck on blind dates with men she did not want. She remembers Buddy Willard who she admired from a far for so long only to be with him and realize that he was nothing but a hypocrite and nothing of what she wanted. She remembers the phone call that she got from Buddy, he explains to her that he had TB, and that slight feeling of joy came over Esther. “I told Buddy how sorry I was about the TB and promised to write but when I hung up I didn’t feel one bit of sorry, I only felt a wonderful relies.” Esther was not a bad person for this, she felt it was a punishment for living the double life that Buddy lived.
When time came to an end Esther found herself standing on a roof letting her cloths fly away, she was letting everything she had been through fly away, she watched the life she did not want fly away in the wind. She now had nothing to go home in, so after having a long talk with Esther, her boss Jay Cee lent her some cloths. Esther went about her way in a flower shirt and green shirt.
Esther went home after that in hope of leaving in a few weeks to a writing course, a place where she could advance her poetry, but she did not get into the class. Instead of just taking another class and going to live with her friend Jody, Esther stayed home which proved to be the worst thing.
Esther’s mental state began to fall, she was not in the grayish place anymore, and she was now in the black area, that place where the depression kicks in and life seems to be nothing. She could not sleep, eat or write, and not being able to write was like not being able to breathe for Esther. She went to a physiatrist that she hated because he was to perfect and nothing of what she expected. The physiatrist decide the best thing for Esther was shock treatment, but it was done incorrectly leaving her not better, not the same, but worse off the she already was. Esther was now in the state of depression that no one wants to be.
Esther slipped, she fell into that place, that when people see you they say under their breath “poor girl” that place where living seems horrible and death is better then anything you can image. She was in that place where waking up will destroy you and you sleep just to get ride of the noise of life. She began to try to kill herself. Cutting her wrist and sitting in the tub to watch the blood mix with the water seemed like the best idea for her but when it came time for her to run the razor across her wrist she could not do it. “It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn’t in the skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, a whole lot harder to get at”. She did not want to kill herself she wanted to kill the pain; she wanted to kill that feeling of total nothingness. Next was the attempt to drown herself, she wanted to swim out into the middle of the ocean and sink down, let the water consume her, she wanted to feel her life slip slowly from her body. She could not drown herself, it is not that she could not, but her body would not let her, it refused to let her take her life, refused the darkness. Every time she put her head under water, she would float back up as if her body was screaming no event though she was screaming yes.
She decided to hang herself next, but could not do it. She was all ready with the silk cord around her neck but could not find a place to do it, she lived in a house with no beams, and nothing hanging forms the ceiling. She tried just choking herself with the cord, but every time she got close she felt the sweet release her body would stop itself and leave her still alive and still depressed. Everything was working against her, her house, her body, the water; it looked as though she was stuck. Esther would not let that happen, she came up with a plan so simple so sweet, to end everything.
Sleeping pills that she had so that she could finally get same rest were going to be the abject that lead her to her finial rest. Her mom left the house for an hour to two so she sprung into action. “I’m going for a long walk”. Was written on a piece of paper for her mom to find, so that her mom would go looking for her when she came home to find the house empty. She lay in her basement and took the pills. Before she could fall into the sleep she found herself not thinking about life, but she was thinking about how long it had been since the piece of soul she was sitting on had seen sunlight,
But sadly for Esther she did not die, the lights that she had saw where not the light that brought her to death but lights that lead her to a sleep that she would stay in until her mother found her.
She was put in an asylum, where she sat in a bed half blind and a horrible state of half ness. Her sight would return but she herself would never be fine again. She was in a place that she hated, where the nurses seemed to be out to get her. She was eventually moved to a place that was a bit like a country club, but worse because it was monitored. She meets Doctor Nolan, who she came to trust.
In this new place she was fine and on the verge of getting better, and returning to a happy place that she longed to be in. Esther was okay she even had a friend, Joan who happened to be the ex-girlfriend of Buddy Willard. She was given town privileges; she was one-step closer to being okay, until they realized that this state of happiness was just a cover. Dr. Nolan decided to put her through shock treatments, but his time, it was like falling asleep
Eventually she was aloud out with out and escort, that was about the time she decided to get rid of her prunes, her virginity. After she gave it up to a man named Irwin she began to bleed uncontrollably, she turned to the one person she could trust, Joan. Joan was now living in and apartment with a nurse. Joan brought her to a hospital where she was fixed up and lead safely back to the asylum. However, her life was soon to be hit with tragedy. Joan was found, dead, she had hung herself.
Even though Esther had nobody, Joan was gone, and she did not want Buddy who had gotten over his TB, Esther was okay. She was about to go into her interview that would determined if she was ready to be realized to not.
The book ends in a cliffhanger to tie your stomach up, she walks into the interview and you have no idea what happens next.
The story was something of a horrible fairy tale, one that made you feel feelings that you didn’t know you could feel so close together. Plath sends you through a bi-polar roller coaster, making you happy, then sad, then angry, and then fall into depression, and confusing, only to leave you in a state of wonder with a hit of happiness. Reading you go through everything with Esther, you are unhappy when she is, you are depressed when is, angry when she is, and when she begins to slip away you want to be the hand that pulls her back up. You fall in love with Esther even though you did not want to. The Bell Jar captures your interest, your soul and leaves you hanging in the air, smiling, the way Esther was.