Hailmaster, the Superhero

If I was sitting on the beach with the love of my life and a hail storm came suddenly, this is how the situation would be handled. 

My wife, the lovely and intelligent women that she is, will panic. And not your normal, “oh no” panic, I am talking full on, “Oh sweet Lord Jesus, we are all going to die. I am convinced this is the apocalypse” panic. The kind that makes you want to grab a fish from the ocean and fish slap her until she gets her wits about her. Lucky for ol’-panicy, I am calm, cool and collected. I just so happen to be a superhero.  Hailmaster the name, and handling hail storms with a clear corse of action and precision accuracy is the game.

Like all well qualified heroes I since the danger and jump into action without a seconds hesitation. Since my superpowers are obviously getting control of hail related situations, (and super speed) I am in my element. It’s not everyday I get to use my powers, in fact my identity had been a secret, up until now. I can only hope no one calls upon me, because I don’t have insurance and can’t really help anyone else.

I grab all of our stuff, so quickly it as if we never had anything on the ground to begin with. I am talking so fast it makes peoples heads spin causing massive nose bleeds in anyone within a 50ft radius. Now that I have all our personal effect neatly stacked under my muscular arm, it’s time for me to get the wife. I give her the old ‘get a hold of your self woman’ and tuck her under my other, too large for my body arm. I scoop her up like it’s nothing and run for the car.  

By now my super speed has kicked in and I am the first one from the beach to the parking lot. I open the passenger door so quickly it sends a gust of wind knocking a few seagulls off a perch. Of course I take a second to laugh at the dumb birds. Then I get focused. I throw my wife in the car  (gently) and buckle her up. I super speed to the drivers door and throw the things in the back seat, and get in. The car goes in gear and we drive away.

That’s how a superhero handles a hail storm. Don’t try this at home folks, I’m a professional.


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