There was a time in my life when everything was simple. I had an answer to every question, I didn’t even have to question, I just knew. I knew who, what, where, how and why. There was no wondering, no time spent thinking, everything was just… so… simple.
There’s was a time in my life when everything was as complicated as everything could ever be. This time I was afraid to think, afraid to move, I was afraid of my own breath in the night. The who of it all was never clear. The what was never answered. The where was never found. The how never figured out. The why stayed lingering in the air.
The word washes over me like a cold shower washing away the sins of my life. There is no shower that could ever get me as clean as I was when life was simple. No amount of perfumes chemicals can ever mask the scent. No scrub brush harsh enough to rub raw the skin of a sinner. There is no drain that could take away the complexities of my life.
So I stopped trying to get clean. I sealed the dirty up and put it away for later. Yes sometimes it can come up. Yes sometimes some people can see it. For the most part I am clean on the outside and dirty on the inside. But my life is simple.
I am back to it being simple. I’m back to that time in my life. I only question when I’ll be forced to go back to being complicated once again.